Stop Whining, Start Living

Although, it has probably been unnoticed that I have been absent from the blogging world lately, I feel the need to apologize to the space of internet I haven't wasted and also to myself. I wish I had a better excuse than laziness, but sadly, I do not. It feels good to journal/blog/discuss. HUGE stress relief.

So I read this book Stop Whining, Start Living by Dr. Laura Schlessinger against my chagrin to avoid self-help books at all costs. I have been pleasantly surprised. I am 21 years old and feel like I have not accomplished anything that I had hoped/dreamed to. This is all my own fault, and has been a huge focus of mine ever since I realized this thing called "Life" wasn't turning out as planned. Did I graduate from a University with a degree? No. Do I have a job I am proud of that makes me good money? No. Have I upheld my values 100% and made myself proud? No. Am I able to completely support myself and afford the things I want to? No. I have whined, bitched, and moaned about these "failures" in my life to the point where I expect myself to fail, and even set myself up for it. I have complained so much to my boyfriend that he doesn't even respond anymore, which made me resent him and take out my frustrations on him. I was feeling inadequate, unloved, and ultimately pissed off all the time.

Upon reading this book, my attitude has completely changed. I have made a conscious decision to evaluate my mood and CHANGE it, because I have the power to do that. And instead of bitching and feeling sorry for myself, I am going to proactively change the things I can and endure the things I cannot. So what I haven't graduated college yet...I just found out what I want to do and I can still make it happen. So what I disappointed myself by not being the best Lynzy I could be? I am actively recovering from my mistakes and realize that we all slip-up and no one is perfect. And being mad at other people, especially those who love me unconditionally does nothing more than push them further away from me...and I do not want that...I want to draw those people closer to me and make them want to be around me!!

I started it last week and finished it this morning...The last 4 days have been some of the happiest days I've had in a long time. After weeks of fighting with my boyfriend over petty stuff (like getting another dog), I just got over it because I knew it wasn't worth it. I decided to clean the apartment that I'd been complaining about, and even take out the trash (which is typically his chore). What a difference it made when he got home and I was in a good mood. He wanted to be all over me...At the end of the night I made a quick, sincere apology for my ridiculous/over reactive behavior as of late, and his response was "I love you so much" followed by a kiss. Now, what more could a girl ask for...?

This book is an eye-opener and really helped me see that my bad attitude was my own fault and I was sabotaging my own happiness. Thanks Dr. Laura.