Like Father Like Son

So last night I got a chance to sit down with my boyfriend's dad and really talk to him. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, but because we live together and his parents are on the conservative side, they've never approved 100% of our relationship. His mother has always been very conversational and made me feel somewhat welcome, though I had the feeling it was all one big show. His dad, however, really never said much. I always took this to mean he was kind of assy and holier-than-thou. Along the way though, I think they realized how much we really loved each other, and slowly his dad started caring more about my presence. He started to hug me everytime we left their house, which really changed the way I thought about him. I really started to see wariness, not assiness; he was being protective, not objective. He just so happens to be a man of few words, which sounds so familiar, because my boyfriend is the same way.
Anyway, a couple of months ago my boyfriend's mother decided she was going to split up with his dad for a while. She felt trapped and doomed to spend the rest of her life as a housewife. She wanted to travel and do things, while her husband was completely content to continue with the life they had already built. It has been a very awkward situation because they would still get together when we would all go to dinner, but everyone knew, she wasn't going home with him. She had made arrangements to live in a temporary apartment and stayed with her mom until she found a place. After months of this, she decided she was ready to come home. She and her Life Coach (yes, she has a Life Coach) had been making "progress" and she was ready to move back in with him and resume their marriage. This came just in time for a family-filled weekend when Bobby's brother, his wife, and their new-born baby girl came into town from Atlanta. We all got together, joined by Bobby's grandmother, uncle and cousins to celebrate and eat. His parents seemed to be really happy, especially his dad, who long awaited the return of his wife. It was a wonderful time and we all felt very close to each other. The following day, she decided her hiatus wasn't quite long enough, and it was a mistake to say she was coming home. Bobby's dad described himself as "crushed" and the way he said it was dripping with heartbreak.
Earlier this week she called Bobby and asked if he could help her take furniture over to her new place, but Bobby refused because he didn't want to get involved. Understandably. We ended up going over there to their house anyway because Bobby had to fix his dad's computer. His mom had left his dad a note on the counter saying she couldn't bare to move anything out, and wanted to come home afterall. She said she would try her best to make things work. His dad knew we had read the note and we sat and talked about it for over an hour. He really was just trying so very hard to make sense of everything. He was happy with their lives together and proud of everything they had built. He was very confused and disheartened that those things didn't seem to be enough for her anymore. We sat and listened and when we left I gave him a huge hug, which he needed. He still doesn't know whether this time she means it or not, and the emotional rollercoaster has been very stressful.
Up until last night, I had no inkling of how Bobby turned out to be such a good person and boyfriend when his parents seemed to be lacking. Turns out, Bobby is so very much like his dad. They have such evened out personalities full of patience and love. I am very grateful that I got to look closer into his life and I feel closer to him than ever.

No more will I be blogging just for the sake of blogging. Sure work can get dull, and I have nothing better to do than write about something trivial and petty, blowing everything completely out of proportion. But that's what people want to read. They want to hear about how annoying the line is at the supermarket, how much you loathe Mondays and how you just wanted to completely bitch your boyfriend out because he left hairs on the soap bar. And I cannot honestly say I will not be blogging about these things anymore, but I'll be damned if I turn on the computer, take the time to log in and post when I really don't have anything to say.

Today's rant: Case in point.

Yes I know...that poem was TERRIBLE. that's why it's called a "starter" people. I haven't written a poem in possibly an entire year. I'll get back into the swing of things...I have hopes. Hopefully not pipedreams.

Here and Now (A starter)

Many things exist that I will never see
Books I will never read
Music I will never know
Landscapes to which I will never go

Friends will arrive, then leave me
People will deceive me
I will brake hearts
My life filled with false-starts

Never will I be the smartest human
Many lies I will see truth in
Times myself I will fail
And inner beauty will not always avail

Some people that pass I will never get to meet
I will not turn down every street
Memories will get lost within
Crimes I will committ as well as sins

Not every goal had will be achieved
Not every pain relieved
I will not always do my best
I will scramble my life into a mess

But what is life, if not lessons learned
And wisdom earned?
Experience, not the wisest teacher?
Repurcussions from sin not the most effective preacher?

Moments filled with tears and sorrow
Losses that leave me hollow
Triumphs that define my life
Will outweight the times filled with strife

Tribulations and trials shape and define
Leave a scar, a mark, a bruise, a line
At the end of my life I will say
I did what I did, I made my mistakes

Like every human that lived before me
I will eventually see
Our time on this earth
Is not even close to the afterlife's worth

The "Annual"

Saw my OB-Gyn today. Actually I saw a new Doc because at the office I've gone to for the past 3 years, I've yet to meet the actual Doctor - - they always send in the nurse practitioner who wanted to compare tattoos and piercings while condoning ecstasy (yes the drug) as a sex-drive enhancement!! Anyway, they never offered me the birth control I wanted, they only wanted to prescribe the brands from the pharmaceutical companies they had aligned themselves with. Frustrating mostly, because I wanted something seasonal, which gives me only 4 periods a year. That's my personal preference and I should be able to make that decision. There were also other areas that I felt they were lacking in: hardly any available appointment times (I had to book at least 9 months in advance!), little patient-doctor interaction, and the longest wait times ever.

So today I was finally able to see a doctor and I also was able to talk with her about some recent concerns. She really took the time to listen and had some really good ideas about certain things that have been going on. (Mainly frequent bladder infections). I got an HPV vaccination. Mainly as a precaution. I love my boyfriend and I trust him, but better safe than sorry because who really knows what the future will hold?? That's what my doctor said anyway...

These appointments are dreaded by so many women. I have a friend who feels like she's being taken advantage of at every appointment (no, she has no sexual molestation in her past, she is just really fearful of these exams). I am not that bad. I get in, I get out. I look up at the ceiling and count the speckles trying to ignore what's going on down there. Sure it is uncomfortable...as for all women, but I'm a true believer that these appointments are important to a woman's health! And honestly, I feel like my doctor gave me some really useful and helpful information.

My 3 Day Weekend

Typically I wouldn't post about what I did over the weekend, but I guess I'm really that dry as far as ideas!



For starters, it was a 3-day weekend. Yay for me, my boss let me have Friday off since we didn't have any patients scheduled. Thursday night is difficult to recall, but I'm pretty sure there was beer involved...Ahhhh, I remember! I went to hang out with my friend Nicole whom I haven't seen in over a year. Nicole was one of those friends who saw me through some pretty difficult times when I wasn't always a good friend, but we have an undeniable connection with each other. Not trying to sound all Lezzy... Anyway...So I met her up at Razzoo's - undoubtedly my favorite of chain restaurants - and there we sat at the bar with some of her friends and we shot the breeze. We also shot tequila. It was the first night I think I've gone out without Bobby. I'm sure he appreciated that I crawled into bed wasted after driving myself home foolishly. (Sarcasm, people.)

Friday was awesome because Bobby and I were off together all day. I imagine days like these are going to be what our weekends are like once he starts his new job. Actually, this makes me nervous because the day turned out to be quite expensive! We had to drive to Las Colinas so that he could get fingerprinted for CitiGroup - yes, Dell is his employer, but since he works in the CitiGroup building, they require additional drug testing and background checks. They consider themselves Fort Knox over there! The security was insane. Afterward, we went to Kohl's (this trip was planned ahead of time) and spend $450 on new clothes for Bobby. We got him some more dress slacks, some polos for the summer, long-sleeve dress shirts with ties for the winter, new belts, undershirts, socks, underwear, and some Nunn Bush dress shoes. The brand of the shoes has the most hilarious name! Nunn Bush...really...? Anyway, I also got a new purse which I really needed, but Bobby convinced me to get a really nice one and I love him for buying it for me. I did a lot of lounging for the rest of the day, but Bobby ran around doing errands for another hour or two. We decided to go see Harry Potter - The Half-Blood Prince at 9:30 at our favorite place - The Movie Tavern. This was the first time I was able to drink there (since I'm newly 21), but yet again, the waiter did not even ID me. I swear I could've been getting away with underage drinking for years.

Saturday I spend the day at the pool - my parents pool to be precise. They drove down to Houston to drop my cousin off (she had been staying with my parents for a week) and to see my older brother, his wife and my nephew, Alex. I had the place to myself. I swam around and did exactly what I think my parents would want me to do with their house - Use it. I turned on the outdoor TV, sat in the sun, read my book, burned some calories in the pool, ate their food, walked around like I owned the place. This is always fun. I'm saving up to buy this house from them one day - if they'll ever sell. They came home later that night, but I was already pretty tipsy. My stepdad drove Bobby and I home - against Bobby's sober will. Better safe than sorry!

Since my car was at my parents' house, they had to pick me up for church, which was great. We heard such a good message about being God's clay. I carried it around with me all day and later drunkingly brought it up in an argument with a guy out at our apartment complex pool. That sounds a little unChristianly of me, doesn't it? Not only did I get drunk on a Sunday, I also argued, and threw in scripture around several "F" bombs. Ultimately the guy backed off though. I started drinking around 4p.m. with my friend Nicole (haven't seen her in a year, and now I see her 2X a week!) and a bunch of people who live in our community. The good thing about drinking at our pool is we get to walk home - thankfully. At about 10:30, after a couple of games of drunken volleyball, some of them ran to the store and got meat to grill out. Meat and corn. Seriously, I ate some of the best chicken I've ever had - and it had nothing to do with the fact that I was completely snockered and in the most chipper of drunk moods. (Sarcasm agian, people.)

I am sure this goes without saying, but I'm not feeling all that well this morning. I still feel drunk and dizzy, my eyes look tired and feel bloodshot! BUT, I am at work all the same. Seriously regretting my decisions last night. I took Zoey over to one of our neighbors and I think she had a good doggy time with the other dog that was there. I think someone might have let her drink beer or something, because this morning she was acting very sluggish and lethargic. I hope she just had sympathy for her Mommy because I'd feel bad if someone got her drunk. She is but a wee puppy!

Anyway, hopefully when my hangover wears off, I will have something better to say...

Baby Talk

I blame my mother for this. No offense, Mom, this is a very unique quality.

A lot of people babytalk. But a lot of people don't babytalk and I find that to these people, it is a very freakish quality to possess.

I'm a babytalker. It happened over time and I found it got worse as I became a big-sister, an aunt, and a pet-owner. Although these are the primary subjects for my baby-language, it doesn't exclude my boyfriend, my mother, my stepfather, and pretty much anyone who I'm fond of.

What is babytalking, you ask? Well it's hard to replicate in typing form, but I assure you it's the gooey-est, mushiest, high pitched talking you can imagine. There is also a severe extension on the end of words, as well as over-emphasis on the vowel sounds. A lot of times, however, it's not even clear English. [See Ace Venture Pet Det. as he babytalks the dog @ the beginning.] Believe me, it's impossible to type. I would probably need music notes and additional letters other than the 26 already in the alphabet to do any justice. This language varies depending on person, but I have learned it to be contagious in nature. Learning through Osmosis is possible, so don't waste your money on Rosetta Stone.

I was raised in this language. Kindergarten was probably a challenge for me because regular English was something I rarely heard! Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it when I say my mother was and is a HUGE babytalker. Oddly, my mother's parents didn't babytalk; their children anyway. When my mom was a grown woman, she noticed that her parents baby-talked their dachshunds. Of course at this point, she had already been babytalking for years. Not only did she baby-talk but she made up these outlandish nicknames for her kids and dogs. The best example I have is with my little brother Ethan whose name got stretched out to Ethaniel, then Ethaniel the Maniel, than shortened to Thans, than Thanny, than Thanny bones. Madness, I tell you, madness!!! We have a dog named Butter who my mom frequently calls Knuckles because she always asks if Butter wants a Knuckle Sandwich. I know what you are thinking: this girl's Mom is a lunatic. I assure you she is very sane. But this brings me back to my original point that some people find this behavior very odd, and even frightening. My boyfriend claims it's degrading, as if I am somehow lessening his intelligence level when I talk to him like he is a 5 year old. Just as I said this is contagious: he now babytalks too. Mostly when he is tickling me or playing with our dog and gets carried away.

For those of you who do not babytalk, this post may be lost on you. But for those of you who do, I imagine you know exactly what I mean. Hopefully soon, society will recognize this language and stop giving it such a hard time...

Bug Detail

Due to the heat, tiny critters with multiple legs have found their ways inside our office building, where they died (probably a slow, starved death) on our floors. These guys are everywhere...from spiders to silverfish, our cracks and corners have become bug graveyards. Guess who gets put on clean-up duty? Moi. Another "Con" to being an assistant: you get to do the dirty work. And I do mean dirty. Cleaning the urine stains off your boss's toilet rim is enough to make anyone cringe and say Find a happy place Find a happy place...

I digress. I've been using tissues to pick up critters for weeks now. Whether it rains or the sun is scorching, they seek refuge within our walls, only to come to their inevitable demise. I almost pity them. Almost. Last week I asked for a handvac (AGAIN) to help me pick these buggers (teehee) up. Our old handvac died (also a slow death: it would come in and out of power depending on the day) and I've been missing it dearly ever since. I hate lugging the big vacuum around and using the wand for small spaces. I also hate going through tissues (wasting trees) and feeling bugs crunch in between my fingers when I pick them up. Still...it's been weeks, if not months since I made my small secretarial request, but still no handvac. These bugs are losing sympathy, and my back is worn from picking them up off the floor. Can I post a bulletin warning them not to migrate indoors?? (this of course is not a serious question, in case you are my young cousin and take things with literal sense!)

Must I also mention that I have more important things to do all day then walk around checking corners and crevices for corpses? Okay, okay..this is not a valid point since I am obviously filled with free time at work. Regardless...sometimes I wish I had an assistant. If so, she'd be on bug detail and I'd be telling her: it's been 2 hours, and it's about time to spot check for creepy crawlers.

I hate...repeat..HATE bug detail.

My Personal Pros and Cons of Spinal Adjustments

I somewhat promote, somewhat warn against chiropractic adjustments. I promote because wow, there is nothing like feeling ur back, neck, skull crack in places you didn't know existed...I warn because they can be terribly addictive. Once you feel that "ahhhh" feeling after the perfect pop from C1 to L5 there is an overwhelming sense of ease. All that tension and stress building up over the busy work week lets out with the sound and the relief is incredible.

But (and this is a bittersweet subject) these pops can leave you feeling twice as tense when it's a Saturday and there is no chiropractor in sight to alleviate this feeling! You know how good you could feel, if only there were a DC in reach. Instead you're left with a feeling of tightness, stranded until you can get in first thing Monday.

Here is my problem. I work for a chiropractor. I get adjustments free as pretty much the only perk...Whenever the doc isn't busy and I'm feeling some strain, I have first dibs - - after all of his patients, and his wife of course. I suppose this gives me last dibs. Perhaps that is the problem. At the very end of the day when ther is free time, I'm ready to go home. I am rarely anxious to stay at work for another minute. But then I get home and find myself with that urge to free my back of its discomfort, so I decide I will mention it as soon I get to work the next day. Back at work the next morning, it is too busy and well, there goes another work day when I missed an opportunity for an adjustment.

So now it's Friday. We get out at 1 p.m. and we have been exceptionally busy (nevermind I'm sitting at my desk blogging). I see us being busy until the very end. Yes, that clock will strike 1p.m. and I will be overly ready to get out the door, I will forget, yet again, that a long weekend lies ahead with no chance of relief...
Addictive I tell you...

21...NOT my last milestone

I still have important things to look forward to in life. . . This I know is true. Still, turning 21 was bittersweet, with emphasis on the "bitter". I have never felt so grownup and upset about it! As I showered the other day, I felt a sense that I didn't have much left to look forward to. This may indicate how truly NOT-grown up I am. Yes, it is immature to believe that it is downhill from 21. But I couldn't help feel sad that my childhood was somehow gone. Perhaps this happened long ago, but there is something so adolescent about sneaking booze and doing the whole underage drinking deal. Yes, it is somewhat a relief that that part of my life is over with. So without feeling too much like my life is over, I had to remind myself of some huge milestones that will reign huge in my life:

• Engagement - I assume this is my next milestone. Not to strike fear into my boyfriend's eyes, but he knows and I know, it's inevitable. I'm in no hurry of course, but I know this will be huge in my life. I will have so much fun planning, coordinating, blushing, and doing all that other girly pre-wedding stuff
• Nursing Degree - This should take about 2 1/2 to 3 years from now to complete. I am so stoked and just hope that I can find an awesome job to take my salary up to a "Real" job salary with benefits and paid time off and all that other awesome stuff
• Buying my first house - Surely to be done with the hubby. I want a suburban 3 bedroom, 2+ bath with a decent backyard and spacious kitchen.
• Baby!! - Yes this I hope is in this order. After marriage, career and home purchase. I thought I just wanted one, but maybe I want 2. To be discussed with hubby.

I will stop there because that's already so much my head could explode.

So for 21, I did the typical...Got way too drunk for my own good and ended up having to call in sick at work the next morning. Sorry to employers. Yes, the guilt trip was noticed and unappreciated.

Farewell for now.

As we listen to Lightning Crashes I wish you had a clue about who I am and how important words and writing are to me

Time LIES

Why does Time insist on being such a prick? It gets its kicks by slowing down the minutes when I least want it to. Or speeding them up when I could linger in a moment for hours. Currently I'm wishing it would move its ass. This has been the longest 8 hour workday ever. My eyes are tired. My brain is trudging slowly trying to create more tasks to occupy me. It seems it's only been 1 minute since I last glanced at the clock, but I refuse to be fooled. Time is trying to trick me. And it's ticking me off. If it were Saturday and I was sitting by the pool soaking up the sun, the bastard would surely speed up. It would see my smile and send signals to all the second hands on all the clocks and say "No fun is allowed on my watch! Speed up. Push on until the sun sets and prove true 'Time flies when you're having fun.'"

UGH i hate how true that phrase is. True and evil. There is no saying in particular though, that blames Time when one is bored. If anyone knows any, please share. I'd be happy to update this blog with one.

I hate sitting on my butt with my eyes glued to the time and wishing with all of my might (or any telekinesis I might possess), that the numbers would move forward in such a rapid rate that I could blink to 7 oclock when it's time to go home for the weekend. Here's to hoping.

Shit, that last post was long...

....OOPS.

Everything Going On...Piling Up Endlessly

This is not a rant. Although there might be some negative connotation in the title. Some things can be overwhelming. Good or bad. Take my little brother, Ethan for instance. He is precious, special, packed with more personality than anyone I've known, yet he can be completely overwhelming! He is demanding, difficult to understand at times, and super duper sensitive the slightest of things.
I have a full plate right now. Chronologically ordered, I have a birthday on Sunday. I have Friday off for July 4th which is so awesome, but I am trudging through the work-week at a snail's pace and having trouble seeing Friday as "close". Bobby (my spectacular boyfriend) and I are planning to have a party either Friday night or Saturday night to celebrate my birthday. Well, we recently got back from a one week trip to Belize and the laundry is STILL not caught up. Our living room is covered with hangers, baskets, folded and unfolded clothes, and suitcases waiting to be unpacked. Overwhelming. I would like it if the party was NOT held ontop of my underwear and work clothes slewn all across the sofa and chair. So that is numero uno on my to-do list, yet it seems everytime I try to put a dent in cleaning, I take 3 steps backwards. Laundry is a nightmare.
Sunday I have church, as usual, although I'm missing my usual brunch so that I can head to Arlington to get tatted up. I'm covering a mistake tattoo on my shoulder, which over time has turned into a blob of blue ink. ByeBye crappy stars. Hello kick ass Angel. Hopefully. I'm nervous to see what the artist has come up with...Overwhelming.
Sunday evening I've invited some close friends and of course my mom and stepdad to join Bobby and I at Los Cabos, an amazing mexican food restaurant where I can't wait to have margaritas or martinis (whichever strikes my fancy).
July is pretty much open from there, although I have my mom's birthday and little brother, Luka's birthday to shop for. But in August, oo boy is August busy. I am going back to school. Again. For the Umpteenth time. I'm not making anyone any promises, including myself. I've been down that road before, filling everyone (and myself) with cynicism after I fail yet again. Not fail, give up. I always give up. If I don't give up, I get an A. Otherwise, I drop. I'm a class-dropper. I can't do this anymore. I have hit a glass ceiling. Being 20, seemingly skill-less, but not wanting to wait tables, really limits the jobs I can go after. $12 an hour just isn't going to cut it. Not forever. No way. $15 won't cut it. Although that would be SUCH an improvement. I made almost $16 at Verizon. ='( Yes I'm still crying over that one. Not literally, just figuratively, and frequently. So I've found a decent schedule. Now i just have to be able to afford it. Monthly payments of $195 RIGHT after rent is due. OUCH. Can anyone teach me how to budget? Nevermind. It's not a taught skill, it's a discipline. I can master it, I can!
Then in September, guess what? Mom and I are going to Playa del Carmen! WOOHOO. Then we can drink on the plane, party and relax while there, and sit by the beach and forget the blandness of Tejas. Of course we will miss the peeps, but not too much. Immediately following, Zoey turns 1 and Bobby turns 21. Overwhelming!

AHHHH. This is random craziness. But it's going in and out of my head relentlessly. I thought writing it all out would help. So far, so good.