Baby Talk

I blame my mother for this. No offense, Mom, this is a very unique quality.

A lot of people babytalk. But a lot of people don't babytalk and I find that to these people, it is a very freakish quality to possess.

I'm a babytalker. It happened over time and I found it got worse as I became a big-sister, an aunt, and a pet-owner. Although these are the primary subjects for my baby-language, it doesn't exclude my boyfriend, my mother, my stepfather, and pretty much anyone who I'm fond of.

What is babytalking, you ask? Well it's hard to replicate in typing form, but I assure you it's the gooey-est, mushiest, high pitched talking you can imagine. There is also a severe extension on the end of words, as well as over-emphasis on the vowel sounds. A lot of times, however, it's not even clear English. [See Ace Venture Pet Det. as he babytalks the dog @ the beginning.] Believe me, it's impossible to type. I would probably need music notes and additional letters other than the 26 already in the alphabet to do any justice. This language varies depending on person, but I have learned it to be contagious in nature. Learning through Osmosis is possible, so don't waste your money on Rosetta Stone.

I was raised in this language. Kindergarten was probably a challenge for me because regular English was something I rarely heard! Okay, that is an exaggeration, but I mean it when I say my mother was and is a HUGE babytalker. Oddly, my mother's parents didn't babytalk; their children anyway. When my mom was a grown woman, she noticed that her parents baby-talked their dachshunds. Of course at this point, she had already been babytalking for years. Not only did she baby-talk but she made up these outlandish nicknames for her kids and dogs. The best example I have is with my little brother Ethan whose name got stretched out to Ethaniel, then Ethaniel the Maniel, than shortened to Thans, than Thanny, than Thanny bones. Madness, I tell you, madness!!! We have a dog named Butter who my mom frequently calls Knuckles because she always asks if Butter wants a Knuckle Sandwich. I know what you are thinking: this girl's Mom is a lunatic. I assure you she is very sane. But this brings me back to my original point that some people find this behavior very odd, and even frightening. My boyfriend claims it's degrading, as if I am somehow lessening his intelligence level when I talk to him like he is a 5 year old. Just as I said this is contagious: he now babytalks too. Mostly when he is tickling me or playing with our dog and gets carried away.

For those of you who do not babytalk, this post may be lost on you. But for those of you who do, I imagine you know exactly what I mean. Hopefully soon, society will recognize this language and stop giving it such a hard time...