Bug Detail

Due to the heat, tiny critters with multiple legs have found their ways inside our office building, where they died (probably a slow, starved death) on our floors. These guys are everywhere...from spiders to silverfish, our cracks and corners have become bug graveyards. Guess who gets put on clean-up duty? Moi. Another "Con" to being an assistant: you get to do the dirty work. And I do mean dirty. Cleaning the urine stains off your boss's toilet rim is enough to make anyone cringe and say Find a happy place Find a happy place...

I digress. I've been using tissues to pick up critters for weeks now. Whether it rains or the sun is scorching, they seek refuge within our walls, only to come to their inevitable demise. I almost pity them. Almost. Last week I asked for a handvac (AGAIN) to help me pick these buggers (teehee) up. Our old handvac died (also a slow death: it would come in and out of power depending on the day) and I've been missing it dearly ever since. I hate lugging the big vacuum around and using the wand for small spaces. I also hate going through tissues (wasting trees) and feeling bugs crunch in between my fingers when I pick them up. Still...it's been weeks, if not months since I made my small secretarial request, but still no handvac. These bugs are losing sympathy, and my back is worn from picking them up off the floor. Can I post a bulletin warning them not to migrate indoors?? (this of course is not a serious question, in case you are my young cousin and take things with literal sense!)

Must I also mention that I have more important things to do all day then walk around checking corners and crevices for corpses? Okay, okay..this is not a valid point since I am obviously filled with free time at work. Regardless...sometimes I wish I had an assistant. If so, she'd be on bug detail and I'd be telling her: it's been 2 hours, and it's about time to spot check for creepy crawlers.

I hate...repeat..HATE bug detail.