My Health - A Rising Concern

I have a bladder infection. Again. Possibly a kidney infection. Again. Nausea comes with kidney infections. Had serious tummy rumblings earlier today. Ugh. Over the last 4 years, I have had UTIs that sometimes turn into full-blown kidney infections, on and off. Maybe 5 or 6 a year. Any woman knows these can be excrutiatingly uncomfortable. These however, only scratch the surface of ways my body has failed me lately.

About 2 years ago I started having stomach problems. Bouts of not going to the bathroom at all for almost 7-10 days. I got bloated, cranky, and nothing worked...Docs gave me laxatives to swallow, techniques to try, foods to eat. Nada. Eventually things would "pass" on their own usually after much pain and discomfort.
[Stop reading if it's TMI people.]
Things have worsened over the last year to full-fledged constipation on a regular basis. Currently I'm on Day 3 without a BM. Discomfort is for sure.
So not only do I lack appropriate regularity, but I also get frequent stomach cramps that pain me to the point where I can't take my next step. They come and they go, but they debilitate me without pattern or warning. Sometimes it feels like it is deep in my abdomen where only a woman knows real pain. Menstrual cramps, ovarian cysts - pain like that. Other times it is higher up - ranging from behind my belly button to just below my sternum.
Believe me, I've changed my diet. Everyone has their little recommendations of foods to try, juices to drink, and although I might find some temporary relief, nothing will produce REAL regularity.
I need a diagnostician. I need Dr. Greg House please.
Sometimes I freak out and think "Maybe I'm a hypochondriac! Maybe this is totally in my head!" But then I got sick on vacation. And it was real. I pushed through it and ignored it, but it was real. I always think people peg me for a big Fakey McFaker, and shoot, maybe they're right. But I can't help but want some serious tests done before I will accept my Crazy Flag and wave it high.